i'm frustrated.

i finished the last book in the house this morning (well, my last book any ways; there are lots of random books left around the building in stacks, but most of them look to the be the sort i wouldn't read no matter how desperate i was). this leaves me with nothing to do but work on my paper. which i have been, slowly painfully. i don't understand why ideas and words seem so eager to run out of my head and onto the screen in neat rows when i'm looking at this screen, but immediately freeze when i open up a word screen. i wonder if i could trick myself into writing by putting it all here first... perhaps i should spare you all the boredom.
of course there are always blogs to read, but you can only check so many with the dribble of an internet connection we have at the moment before conscience catches up and scolds you back to doing what you/i am supposed to be doing.

i'm having a hard time synthesizing all of the material i've read for this paper - 15 odd journal articles. i have a general idea of what they say and arguments and what i want to take from them and vaguely what i want to do with it. but working out how all of it goes together in my paper is causing hang-up in my poor over/under caffeinated brain.

and it's a beautiful day outside; it seems that it's always a beautiful day when i most need to just stay put and not think about it.

so very frustrating...